Friday, August 31, 2012

Waiting.

I sit a bit frustrated this morning.  Why?  I don't like to be idle.  I feel like ALL I can do here is to sit idly.  It's quite annoying.  To be honest, I'm feeling useless.  A part of me feels like Neal and I trusted in God to just up and move across the country.  That didn't take any second thoughts or questioning.  But now that I'm here, in WASHINGTON, it makes sense (in my mind, at least) that the logical next step would be for me to get a job. Right? But, clearly, that hasn't happened yet.  I've applied for 10-ish jobs so far.  About half of them have already denied me employment for one reason or another.  Boo.  It's a little discouraging. I can't help but think, "I have AWESOME skills. I did great in my previous job. Who wouldn't want to hire me?" Not conceited at all, right? Ha. So, looks like I need a lesson in humility AND patience.  I just want a job.  I want to be busy. I want to contribute financially.  But, clearly, that isn't what God has for me or our family in this moment.  So, what do I do? That's REALLY what I'm struggling with.  It's not so much the not working.  It's that I feel like I'm not able to contribute.  We're living in a hotel room.  I can't cook.  I can't clean. I can't make a comfortable home for us.  I feel like I just sit all day long.  Doing nothing.  While Neal is out working hard to provide for us.  I'm just struggling with what to do in this time that I am unemployed and am unable to make a home for Neal, Cooper, and I since we're living in a hotel room.  I need to learn to be content with just waiting.  With standing still. Being quiet.  Because, God DOES have a plan. He always has.  This is just me, doubting that or something.  No, not doubting that He has a plan.  Doubting His timing. 

One good thing about all of this extra time is that it gives me a great opportunity to meditate on God's word.  As I was reading this morning I swear EVERY page I turned to had SOMETHING that was perfect for me in this season.  Here are a few:

"The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."
          -Lamentations 3:24

"It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
          -Lamentations 3:26

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
          -Psalm 27:14

And the scripture that spoke to me most today:
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in His word I put my hope."
          -Psalm 130:5

Isn't it so awesome that we can put hope in His WORD.  We can't do that with people.  You know why?  People's 'word' will fail us.  Daily.  But John 1:1 reminds us that, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  Whatttt?!  You read that correctly.  The Word was God. Yep. Amazing.  So when Psalm 130:5 says, "in His word I put my hope," it's saying, "in God I put my hope."  And let me tell y'all, that is the ONLY place for our hope to be, in the Lord.

Pray with me as I pray for contentment in the Lord and as I can continue to seek hope in the Lord.  I'll do the same for you :)

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